Monday, May 11, 2009

Sick of smileys

I will never forget the first time I saw a smiley face. I had no idea what it even was because the two eye marks and the mouth were there, but there was no circle around them...something like this, except vertical, not horizontal: =)

I was 10 years old and my 5th grade teacher was attempting to convey to me that I had done a good job. It worked once she explained to me what this mysterious symbol meant.

I still like that teacher; in fact, she reads this blog and comments sometimes. I also love my wife and all kinds of other people in my life who use smiley faces on a regular basis. I have drawn them myself for many years now. (Is "drawn" the right term? "Doodled" seems more precise, but somehow doesn't quite cut it, either).

But I refuse to participate any longer. I am done with smiley faces. Discourse in America, especially via e-mail, has degenerated to a point where we seem to feel that unless we draw, doodle or create a smiley face every other sentence, our tone will come across as cold, withdrawn, detached or less than heartfelt.

There are a plethora of problems with this, but I'll content myself with listing my main peeves. First, shouldn't I have an extensive enough vocabulary that I can convey my personal warmth towards someone without constantly employing a smiley face? Also, maybe sometimes, I actually am not happy about something or someone! Have we reached a place where I can't make those feelings known occasionally?

But perhaps most troubling of all, why are we SO quick to take offense and feel slighted? Are we so hasty of a society with friendships that are so thinly foundational that they will be injured that simply...over a wrongly worded sentence or one that is phrased a little carelessly? I think all of these things are worth pondering; it seems that we all have gotten steadily more thin-skinned even as we attempt to constantly stay in touch in a variety of ways. But does EVERYTHING need to be sugarcoated? Why are we so easily hurt?

Regardless, I'm through with Mr. or Ms. Smiley Face...I don't believe, in the end, that it fosters greater intimacy or kindness, but probably serves more as a shield or a subtle request to "please not hate me for saying this." I challenge you to ask yourself how stable that friendship really is if you can't say what you mean without a smiley face?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you. :)

HeHeHe

Faith said...

Great perspectives to think about! I enjoy using a variety of emoticons, not only the smilies--a picture's worth a thousand words, but I'm certainly an advocate for employing a more precise and diverse vocabulary! I guess I should advocate by example, eh? :)

Faith said...

oops!

Glen Asbury said...

Faith, keep using the emoticons, including the smileys...you were doing this before it became ubiquitous! That's what I'm saying, more than anything. I figured you might have something to say about this, somehow...Good to hear from you.

Christy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I feel the same way about the ever present LOL. I am so sick of seeing it everywhere...especially when nothing is funny.

Lisa said...

"Let's put a smile on that face." :)

Kirsten said...

good point Glen, although only you would philosophize over smiley face usage and the problems with use of them ;o)hahaha